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How COVID-19 Illuminates Opportunities to Create a Better ‘New Normal’

April 17, 2020 by Avi Kantor

The COVID-19 virus has changed our world. It’s brought out the best and worst in people and exposed many of our shortcomings as a culture and a global society. We were clearly unprepared. Hospital emergency rooms and healthcare workers are overwhelmed. Apparently, we have not created a healthcare system that can consistently respond well to such a crisis. Schools, businesses, state and local governments have had to shut down and go virtual. There’s been a global economic and financial contraction reminiscent of the Great Depression. Many people are unable to work, and earn a living. Some are concerned about the long term viability of their businesses or their employer’s business; they’re justifiably concerned about their futures. Yet, in cities around the world, healthcare workers, police, firemen, grocery store employees, and anyone else who must serve the public despite the virus are being applauded and recognized for their service. Governments and charitable organizations are rallying, attempting to help those most in need.


Individually, we’ve all had to deal with social distancing, isolation, and the psychological effects of fear and uncertainty. Some of us have had to deal with actual COVID-19 infections, the resulting sickness, and even ultimate death among our family, friends, and colleagues. Reported domestic violence, suicide hotline activity, and alcohol consumption are all on the rise. And yet, there’s good news too. In practicing social distancing, people are demonstrating not only enlightened self-interest for their own health but also for the health of others. Families are spending time, sharing meals, doing homework, engaging in games and other activities together; doing things that previously they were too busy, over-scheduled, and over-committed to plan or engage in.

“Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: some things are within our control and some things are not. It is only after you have faced up to this fundamental rule and learned to distinguish between what you can and can’t control that inner tranquility and outer effectiveness become possible.” – Epictetus, Greek Stoic Philosopher, 55-135 AD

Does anyone doubt that there will be a “new normal” when things settle down and we’re able, with some conditions, to leave our homes and go back to work? Most of us are not in a position to directly influence whether or not the country is better prepared for future pandemics, the economy can be restructured to grow again and eventually recover from this deep economic and financial crisis, or repair the many damages to the political and social fabric of our society. As the quote from Epictetus implies, we should focus on what we can control.

If history is any indication, we can’t count on the general population to make dramatic positive personal changes in the aftermath of the coronavirus. Instead, people will yearn for the way things were, the lifestyles they once had, and the comfortable, yet false, sense of security they once enjoyed. Many will revert back to habitual behavior, indulging in news, social media, idle conversation, and/or rumination about matters that they have no control over.

When people talk about the silver lining that has come out of this crisis, I hear a lot about how people are kinder, more considerate, more generous, and caring. People seem to suddenly feel genuinely grateful for good health, food, safe homes, family, friends, small comforts, and a civil society. Might we apply what we know about habits, routines, and human behavior to make gratitude an enduring and prominent part of the new normal?

“When we are challenged we do not rise to our expectations, we fall to our level of practice” – Archilochus, Greek Poet, 680-645 BC

In many ways, the coronavirus has been the ultimate stress test of our values and our intentions. Might we also remember what we’ve become acutely aware of during this unprecedented time? This crisis has revealed to many of us that our pre-coronavirus “goals” in life may not have reflected what matters most. If we are to survive and live happy, fulfilling, meaningful, and joyful lives, isn’t it imperative that we get our priorities straight and that we live with high intention?

“What many of us are discovering right now is that things we valued a few months ago don’t actually matter: our cars, the titles on our business cards, our privileged neighborhoods. Rather what’s coming to the forefront is a shift to figuring out what we find intrinsically rewarding…when a crisis hits, everything is put to the real test…The challenge then becomes wrapping our struggles into our values, because what we value only has meaning if it’s important when life is hard. To know if they have worth, your values need to help you move forward when you can barely crawl and the obstacles in your way seem insurmountable.” – Shane Parrish, Farnam Street blog

We named our process the Universal Framework because we’ve found, regardless of specific methods and circumstances, that all effective strategies and plans follow a similar pattern of discovering and illuminating what matters most, thinking about and designing actions to improve situations and circumstances, implementing and executing on plans and strategies, and, importantly, overseeing results, monitoring and adapting to new situations and circumstances (what we call stewardship). In our experience, where people often fall short despite their best intentions is being accountable for execution, ongoing monitoring, and adaptation. Thus, throughout this ongoing process, in addition to our roles as advisors, planners, and collaborators, we see ourselves as accountability partners with our clients and co-collaborators. We think it’s a win-win.


In the “new normal”, rigid, long-term planning and plans will be impractical and likely sub-optimal; too much will remain unknown and unknowable. It behooves us all to be flexible, agile, and adaptable in our thinking and actions. Despite the volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity ahead, we have the opportunity to not only shift the way we think about wealth and our priorities but also to rebuild and reorganize our lives around our values; to walk our talk about money, wealth, and what truly matters to us individually, as families, and collectively as a civilized society. And make no mistake about this; what we decide and do will matter. We’re in this together.

Filed Under: New Normal Tagged With: Collaboration, Gratitude, Stewardship, Universal Framework

What Really is Estate Planning? Part 2

February 18, 2020 by Avi Kantor

Last month, I discussed how traditional estate planning focuses on wills, trusts, and other legal, tax, and financial structures. I emphasized that such an approach has been largely unsuccessful in sustaining multi-generational wealth. I proposed that if we “Put People First”, we might better sustain wealth and help people live more happy, fulfilled, meaningful, and joyous lives.

So, how might we put people first? We’ve developed what we call a “Universal Framework”. The framework breaks planning down into four phases – Discovering, Designing, Implementing, and Stewarding. Our framework keeps people top-of-mind as we engage in ANY planning process and implement financial and legal structures. By keeping people top-of-mind during each planning phase, we believe that planning becomes more relevant and ultimately more successful. Why? Traditional estate planning often focuses on minimizing taxes by dividing money among beneficiaries and/or deferring the payment of taxes. What winds up happening is that assets get distributed to unprepared beneficiaries, only to see those assets dissipated because beneficiaries weren’t engaged in the long-term planning and strategy of the family. In other words, the plans don’t involve the beneficiaries; they are done to them. We believe that what’s missing is the participation and involvement of all family members – in other words, the people.

What might we do differently? We begin by focusing on each individual’s True Wealth – that which is most essential for each family member. Each individual family member’s clarity and awareness about their values and priorities and their vision of the future prepares them to contribute to the overall planning, implementation, and stewarding of a family’s assets.

Much like a successful sports team or a high-performing orchestra, family members need processes and structure in order to perform at their best as an organization or enterprise. Everyone participates and contributes, even if their contribution is relatively small. This notion of a “Family Enterprise” seeks to optimize the way a family functions together; that is, the enterprise seeks to optimize the people, process, and structure of the family.

To carry the metaphor of a sports team or orchestra one step further, we (The Certior Group) function much like a “conductor” or “general manager”, maintaining the flow and momentum of the planning process. We adapt our Universal Framework to collaborate with other professionals. We then focus our endeavors on keeping people top of mind as we co-create, curate, and optimize products and services for the benefit of our client families. Our role is to maintain collective focus on long-term individual and multi-generational family happiness, fulfillment, meaning, and joy. It’s our notion of what “Stewardship” is all about.

Filed Under: Collaboration, Estate Planning, Family Enterprise Tagged With: Collaboration, Estate Planning, People First, Stewardship

Experiential Learning Breeds Collaboration

October 7, 2019 by Avi Kantor

I often speak about collaboration as an important, often overlooked, element in the work that professionals do. Recently, my colleagues and I had an experience that suggested what collaboration looks like in action and how to create the conditions for great collaboration to occur.

Below is a picture of a climbing wall in Chaska, MN. At a conference at this site, a group individuals from various professions including myself and Certior Group colleagues Hal Hershgordon and Patty Totaro were tasked with scaling this wall in random teams of three.

We were supplied with safety equipment – helmets, harnesses, ropes, etc. – and organized in a manner that minimized the risk of a fall or accident. But there were several constraints that made the climb unique: each threesome was tethered together and the middle climber was blindfolded. Patty Totaro is the blindfolded climber in the picture below.

Below, I’m beginning the climb blindfolded, guided by my two teammates.

Below is a picture of the teams of supporters controlling the safety ropes.

The people on the ground did much more than just provide rope support. They also gave the climbers verbal encouragement and often, verbal suggestions about the next critical move to make.

The unblindfolded climbers were highly focused on assisting and guiding their blindfolded co-climber. Hal Hershgordon is the climber on the left literally helping the blindfolded woman move her left foot to her next foothold.

(If you look closely, you noticed raindrops in the picture above. The downpour that occurred during the event made for slippery conditions, adding to the difficulty and complexity of the activity).

Ultimately, most of the groups succeeded in reaching the top. But in some ways, that wasn’t the main takeaway from the experience. In fact, while the experience itself was exhilarating, climbing the wall blindfolded with teammates and supporters has for me become a metaphor for collaboration in business and in life.

There are so many parallels, analogies, and lessons embedded in the wall climbing experience. For this article, I’ll focus on just three. First, as advisors, we’re tethered to our clients, guiding them, and helping them take the next small step – the next critical move – along their metaphorical climbs in business and in life. Certainly there are others giving encouragement, making suggestions, and “holding the ropes” from time to time. But we’re there with them, helping them steward their True Wealth.

Second, sometimes it’s raining, the wall is slippery, the situation seems overwhelming, and the next move is unclear. We use the acronym V.U.C.A. (volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous) to describe these conditions and, by analogy, the world we live in. Yet, the learning is in the struggle to move up the wall (or forward in business and life). It helps to have guidance and support.

Finally, after climbing we all got a chance to celebrate not only our own accomplishments but those of others.

We often don’t allow ourselves to fully experience and celebrate the positive moments in our lives. A motto that came out in the aftermath of the wall climbing experience was “Savor the Good”. It’s something that I hope we can all adopt and grow into.

Filed Under: Collaboration Tagged With: Collaboration, Experiential Learning, VUCA

Striving Together: The Intersection of Competition and Collaboration

September 7, 2019 by Avi Kantor

“…in jazz we share, we listen to each other, we respect each other, we are creating in the moment…”1 – Herbie Hancock, Grammy award winning jazz musician

At first glance, competition and collaboration seem diametrically opposed. Competition conjures up images of winning and losing; triumph and failure. Collaboration suggests camaraderie, working side-by-side. If we’re competitors, we’re not collaborating; if we’re collaborating, we’re not competing.

But did you know that “compete” originally meant “to strive together?” It’s true. The word “compete” was originally derived from the Latin root “com” which means “with, and “petere” which means “to strive, seek, fall upon, rush at, attack”. In Late Latin “competere” came to mean “strive in common, strive after something in company with or together”2. Doesn’t that sound a lot like “collaboration?”

It turns out that as the French adopted and used the word in the Middle Ages, “compete” gradually took on the meaning “to enter or be put into rivalry with.”3 Today, it seems that there’s “friendly” competition – as in some sports or business situations – and “cutthroat competition” for scarce resources, opportunities, and “winning” in sports, business, and many other situations in life.

“I’m a fighter. That’s my culture…The longer I own this team, they’re gonna pick up more of my culture. We had ’em. We should have stepped on their throats the other night and cut their throats.” – Tilman Fertitta, owner of the Houston Rockets NBA basketball team, commenting after being eliminated in the recent NBA playoffs. 4

Rather than cutthroat competition, The Certior Group embraces the original notion of competing; that is, “to strive together” with our co-collaborators and clients to optimize wealth and wellbeing. In fact, we’ve identified collaboration as one of our core values. For us, collaboration isn’t just a nice sounding word that goes on our website and into our company literature. Collaboration is fundamental to the work that we do. Without collaboration, we can’t do the work and provide the value that we promise our stakeholders. Rather than relying solely on our own internal domain expertise, – which we certainly have in several areas – we’re invested in a process that combines not only our own expertise but also that of others. It is our belief that by striving together with other professionals, like well-performed jazz, we can best serve our clients, collaborators, and team members.

(1) Brainyquote.com/quotes/herbie_hancock_592363

(2) Origin and etymology of compete, Online Etymology Dictionary, etymonline.com

(3) Ibid.

(4) Rockets owner goes on epic rant after Warriors’ clinching Game 6, Ali Thanawalla, NBCsports.com

Filed Under: Your Team Tagged With: Collaboration, Structure, True Wealth

The Secrets of Happy Families

May 7, 2019 by Avi Kantor

In the late 1990’s, one of our co-collaborators Lee Brower read a statistic published by the Family Firm Institute, a Boston non-profit that focuses exclusively on family-owned businesses; over 90% of family wealth is lost by the end of the third generation. Even today, this dramatic loss of family wealth continues to occur, despite the best efforts of the best attorneys, accountants, wealth managers, insurance and financial planning professionals. Lee, his firm Empowered Wealth, and many others, including The Certior Group, have wondered why this happens and, more importantly, what can be done to counter or prevent this from occurring.

Many ideas have resonated with us and informed our evolving thinking on this matter. If you’ve ever engaged in multi-generational estate planning, you know that there are numerous sophisticated planning techniques and structures available to families. Aside from the unique advantages of certain Wyoming-only strategies such as private single family trust companies, we’ve chosen not to focus on legal structures but rather on facilitating a flexible planning process that encourages inter-disciplinary collaboration among advisors, including skillful, experienced attorneys.

Much of our practical thinking is now focused on how to build and maintain a healthy family culture as an essential, often overlooked element in sustaining family wealth. To this end, New York Times columnist Bruce Feiler published a book in 2013 titled “The Secrets of Happy Families“. In it, he lays out the theory and the research that supports the notion that families that know their histories – their family narratives – are happier, more resilient, and more cohesive. 

One way that we help families capture and organize their family narratives is by employing an Empowered Wealth tool and exercise called the TimeMap. As Bruce Feiler might suggest, this exercise identifies key people, events, milestones, learning experiences, and most importantly, the stories that in the aggregate form the essence of family narratives. Our experience aligns with Feiler’s: that is, most families are not intentional about telling their stories. However, once they realize the importance and value of capturing and making those stories part of the family’s traditions, those families that know their narratives have a better chance of defying the statistics and sustaining their families’ wealth.

Filed Under: Family Enterprise Tagged With: Collaboration, Fulfillment, Gratitude, PSFTC, Time Map

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