Fulfillment Archives - The Certior Group

Tackling New Year’s Resolutions with Atomic Habits

February 11, 2021 by Avi Kantor

So here we are, a month and a half into the new year. How are you doing on your New Year’s resolutions?

Research suggests that by the second week in February, on average 80% of New Year’s resolutions have already failed or been abandoned. ¹ This inability to adopt new habits or extinguish old ones that no longer serve us isn’t just limited to New Year’s resolutions. It’s a pattern that characterizes much of human experience over time. This begs the questions “Why does happen?” and “What can we do about it?”

Recently, some of my colleagues and I studied James Clear’s popular book “Atomic Habits.” In this book, Clear lays out a simple, common sense framework for making habits stick. His basic approach is to focus on process, not outcomes.

Clear’s process has just four general principles or “laws”:

To create a good habit, make it Obvious; to break a bad habit, make it Invisible;
To create a good habit, make it Attractive; to break a bad habit, make it Unattractive;
To create a good habit, make it Easy; to break a bad habit, make it Difficult;
To create a good habit, make it Satisfying; to break a bad habit, make it Unsatisfying.

A recent example from my daughter:

“James Clear’s idea of compounding has made a tremendous difference in my life. I have been able to use already established habits to create new habits. For example, I have used my morning habit of drinking water as a trigger to create a new habit of daily gratitude by writing in my gratitude journal. Now when I drink my morning water, I automatically reach for my gratitude journal.”

By analogy, Clear’s approach also suggests something about how we might go about goal-setting and planning for things much bigger than New Year’s resolutions. One of the cornerstones of our work is optimizing multi-generational True Wealth – that which matters most – in every phase of life. Our process focuses on discovering and rediscovering those things that bring happiness, fulfillment, meaning, and joy to those in our circles of care. Inspired by Clear’s model, we might say:

Focus on what will bring Happiness; move away from what may lead to Unhappiness;
Focus on what will bring Fulfillment; move away from what may lead to Unfulfillment;
Focus on what will bring Meaning; move away from what may lead to Meaninglessness;
Focus on what will bring Joy; move away from what may lead to Joylessness.

Just as life’s distractions and temptations work against our New Year’s resolutions and our good habits, in the long run they can misdirect our attention and focus from what we truly value most. Perhaps the most important habit we can develop is the habit of periodically revisiting what matters most in every phase of life.

¹How to make your New Year’s resolutions last, Melissa Ma, FSUNews.com, January 5, 2020

Strengthening Families by Putting People First

December 7, 2019 by Avi Kantor

Happy Holidays! In the spirit of the season, I thought it would be appropriate to reprise a post from 2018 that speaks to the value of Gratitude. May this be a time of Peace and Goodwill for you and your family.

Much of what I’ve learned about Gratitude has come from personal experience. When I look back, every personal crisis I’ve had has ultimately led to me to Gratitude. Whether it’s a serious illness, or a major setback in business or an unexpected accident, I now see the positives in those events and feel grateful for what I’ve learned from them. I’ve learned that adversity can be a great teacher, if you pay attention to the lessons. It wasn’t always that way.

I’ve learned a lot about Gratitude from my colleagues and friends at Empowered Wealth. Many have had personal or family health issues. We have all learned to appreciate and not take good health for granted. We’ve all learned the value of having family members who get along and care about each other. I think we share the value of friendship and being part of a community where we feel like we belong. It’s one of the reasons why I love living here in Jackson.

Most of all, my experiences have taught me the value of Gratitude is a lifestyle, a practice that starts with self-respect and respect for others, grows into appreciation for the many blessings we all have, and inspires the spirit of generosity that gives fulfillment and meaning to the way we live our lives.

Is Life About the Ascent or the Summit?

November 3, 2019 by Avi Kantor

I like to hike. Because Jackson Hole is surrounded by mountains, I have many opportunities to hike with my family, friends, colleagues, and out-of-town visitors. For quite a while, I was single-minded about hiking; it was all about getting to the top of the mountain. Yes, there’s scenery, conversation, and opportunities for contemplation but what really mattered was getting to the top.

Recently, I was introduced to some articles, videos, and a book titled “The Second Mountain” by New York Times columnist David Brooks. In each instance, hiking and climbing mountains became a metaphor for living and life. “The Second Mountain” and its two-mountain metaphor in particular, caused me to view hiking and the work that we do from a different perspective.

A few years ago, Brooks suffered some personally devastating setbacks. He had metaphorically climbed his “first mountain”. He was an acclaimed, best-selling author and political commentator; he was financially secure; he had raised a family. He had achieved. He was famous. He was wealthy. He was, what most people would consider to be “successful”. But when his marriage ended and he was forced to confront his life at that time, he experienced depression, emptiness, and a lack of purpose and meaning that caused him to explore what was missing in his life and ultimately to write “The Second Mountain”.

Like the work that we do, Brooks’ Second Mountain is a metaphorical journey, an exploration of what matters most. Very much akin to one of our defining principles “True Wealth”, Brooks focuses on deep relationships, meaningful work, building and contributing to communities, and core values, especially faith, in order to live a good and moral life. The climb up the metaphorical second mountain, then, is an aspirational pursuit of fulfillment, meaning, and joy; it’s an ongoing process of optimizing True Wealth.

Brooks’ relentless, single-minded climb up his first mountain was much like the way I hiked; get to the top, that’s what matters. I realized that it’s good to know first of all what our destination is; that in each phase of our lives the destination might be different. It’s also good to realize that there are two mountains, to be aware of which mountain we’re climbing, and especially why. Regardless, it’s really about the journey; about enjoying it and finding meaning and fulfillment in the process. It’s about optimizing True Wealth and, in our case, about helping others to optimize their True Wealth in every phase of their lives.

Creating a Lasting Legacy

June 7, 2019 by Avi Kantor

When estate planners talk about creating and leaving a lasting legacy, they usually are referring to investment strategies and legal structures. These strategies and structures recognize the wishes of the wealth creator, protect assets from creditors and lawsuits, and encourage future family philanthropy. Successful wealth creators often want to create and leave a lasting legacy; they would like to be remembered for their success. Often they have strong opinions about what inheritors should think, believe, and do with their lives. Planning documents and wealth preservation strategies generally reflect these opinions and the values of the wealth creators, not necessarily those of the wealth inheritors.

Do these legal and investment activities, in fact, lead to a lasting legacy? The statistics aren’t encouraging. Studies indicate that an extremely high percentage of family wealth is dissipated by the end of three generations. From my perspective, the reality that most legacy plans exclusively reflect the thinking of the wealth creators works against their vision for a lasting legacy.

What’s missing? Many planners focus on philanthropy as a means for sustaining families. Philanthropy can be a catalyst for discussions on family values, family history, and the vision that family leaders have for the future. Done thoughtfully, philanthropic efforts can create a rallying point and become a source of pride for a well-intentioned family. But there are other reasons people donate. Many donate primarily for tax purposes. Others want the recognition that often comes with large donations. I’ve even heard of people who donate so that they can be invited to the “best parties” that are frequently associated with charitable fundraising.

One of our collaborators says that we don’t really leave a legacy…we LIVE our legacies. To me, this means that the way we live each day creates a legacy – positive or negative – over our lifetimes. I’ve observed that families that are intentional about living their values – that is, discussing and acting upon their visions and ideas about what their best lives can and should be – these families develop leadership character and culture among family members. The ability to nurture and grow strong family leadership and a positive, sustainable family culture is, in my opinion, what’s missing in estate planning today. Wealth creators would be better-served if, in addition to great strategies and structures, they could develop a process for the ongoing development and contributions of current and future family members.

The Secrets of Happy Families

May 7, 2019 by Avi Kantor

In the late 1990’s, one of our co-collaborators Lee Brower read a statistic published by the Family Firm Institute, a Boston non-profit that focuses exclusively on family-owned businesses; over 90% of family wealth is lost by the end of the third generation. Even today, this dramatic loss of family wealth continues to occur, despite the best efforts of the best attorneys, accountants, wealth managers, insurance and financial planning professionals. Lee, his firm Empowered Wealth, and many others, including The Certior Group, have wondered why this happens and, more importantly, what can be done to counter or prevent this from occurring.

Many ideas have resonated with us and informed our evolving thinking on this matter. If you’ve ever engaged in multi-generational estate planning, you know that there are numerous sophisticated planning techniques and structures available to families. Aside from the unique advantages of certain Wyoming-only strategies such as private single family trust companies, we’ve chosen not to focus on legal structures but rather on facilitating a flexible planning process that encourages inter-disciplinary collaboration among advisors, including skillful, experienced attorneys.

Much of our practical thinking is now focused on how to build and maintain a healthy family culture as an essential, often overlooked element in sustaining family wealth. To this end, New York Times columnist Bruce Feiler published a book in 2013 titled “The Secrets of Happy Families“. In it, he lays out the theory and the research that supports the notion that families that know their histories – their family narratives – are happier, more resilient, and more cohesive.

One way that we help families capture and organize their family narratives is by employing an Empowered Wealth tool and exercise called the TimeMap. As Bruce Feiler might suggest, this exercise identifies key people, events, milestones, learning experiences, and most importantly, the stories that in the aggregate form the essence of family narratives. Our experience aligns with Feiler’s: that is, most families are not intentional about telling their stories. However, once they realize the importance and value of capturing and making those stories part of the family’s traditions, those families that know their narratives have a better chance of defying the statistics and sustaining their families’ wealth.

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