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Experiencing Awe Through Your Child’s Eyes

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“A child’s world is fresh and new and beautiful, full of wonder and excitement. It is our misfortune that for most of us that clear-eyed vision, that true instinct for what is beautiful and awe-inspiring, is dimmed and even lost before we reach adulthood. If I had influence with the good fairy who is supposed to preside over all children, I should ask that her gift to each child in the world be a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life.” – Rachel Carson (1907-1964), author, naturalist

There’s something to be said for experiencing life as an adventure where one approaches every moment and situation seeking to discover what is new and interesting. Some call it a beginner’s mind. Others call it a sense of awe. Either way, I see this way of being, this mindset, as a vital part of practicing Gratitude. My own son recently reminded me of the benefits of such a mindset. We were on a father-son hiking and camping trip in the Gros Ventre Wilderness in western Wyoming. After driving for two hours on a paved road and another hour and a half on a gravel and dirt road, we arrived at one of the most remote ranches in the 48 states. From there we hiked 6 miles in national forest land, along with a handful of other campers, to our campsite at the base of a pristine waterfall.

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My 14-year-old experienced the views, the natural world, and the hours of hiking with seemingly endless wonder and joy. While adults might consider hiking 6 miles into a bare basics camp a chore or hard work, he found it fun. When we were caught in a sudden rainstorm an hour and a half from camp, he enjoyed sloshing through the mud and fighting the rain just to see the path ahead. For him, it was all one big adventure, one moment after another of awe and inspiration.

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Our time in the wilderness contained most, if not all, of the elements of practicing Gratitude. Certainly, there was respect for nature first and foremost. There was appreciation for the other people on the trip, the opportunity to be in such a wonderful locale, the small conveniences we enjoyed (tents, cots, sleeping bags, hot food, etc.), and the great experiences we had over the three days in the wilderness. And there was generosity. Since we had very little, consideration and sharing became as much a privilege as it was a necessity.

“Awe binds us to social collectives and enables us to act in more collaborative ways that enable strong groups, thus improving our odds for survival” – Dacher Keltner, PhD I also experienced what Dacher Keltner mentions in the quote above; namely, a shared experience of awe binds people together. It’s something we all might consider cultivating, especially during these times of disruption and especially with those closest to us.

The Empowered Abilities of Nature

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With longer days and warmer weather signaling spring and summer to follow, it feels as if the worst of the pandemic might be over (at least for now). I’ve been reflecting on the past year and our collective pandemic experience. I’ve also been looking ahead, trying my best to imagine what the future might be like.

“In each of our lives at various points along the way, we find ourselves in the Fog of Not Knowing—a period of transition, when the path, the plan, or the project is not yet clear. This period in between—whether for minutes or for months—is to be respected and honored; it is fertile and full of promise. If you can meet this void without grasping for the most convenient way out, what you discover will be beyond your expectations and imagination.” – Victoria Labalme

I have the sense that we all can use a little healing and some time to recover from the pandemic. Fear of unknown consequences of the virus, vaccines, etc.; anxiety and depression caused by isolation; concerns about the long-term effects of over-reliance on telecommunications, social media, and mass media in our daily lives…these are a few of the circumstances from which we might seek some healing and recovery. A couple of things come to my mind as ways we might do so.

First, it’s apparent to me that social isolation has been detrimental for us all. We need to be with other people; not just on Zoom calls but actually in person with other people without fear of being infected or infecting others. We suffer when we can’t interact freely with other people.

Second, being out in nature is a reliable way we can all begin to heal ourselves from the pandemic. I recently reflected on two events that we organized a few years ago that embodied these two points. The first was a hike on the Black Butte Trail in Grand Teton National Park.

One highlight of that experience was a 15 minute silent climb to the top of the trail, noticing the sights and sounds of the forest and quieting our own thoughts.

The second event was an overnight hiking-camping trip at the Darwin Ranch outside of Jackson, WY.

I remember sleeping under the stars without any ambient city lights, the constant sound of a magnificent waterfall in the background. It’s the sort of healing experience I’m imagining.

Finally, we all could focus on growing from our experiences; we could re-engage our curiosity, our sense of wonder and awe. Any hike in Grand Teton National Park is awe-inspiring because of the mountains and the scenery. In addition, our guide, naturalist Trevor Bloom, drew our attention to the wildflowers that he studies. To get a sense of the amazing details of the lives of these fragile plants was both interesting and again awe-inspiring. We are always grateful for the opportunity to spend quality time in nature with our clients and their families. Given the progression of combatting the pandemic, we intend to coordinate similar events in the upcoming months. Interested in an event for your family? Please contact us.

Tackling New Year’s Resolutions with Atomic Habits

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So here we are, a month and a half into the new year. How are you doing on your New Year’s resolutions?

Research suggests that by the second week in February, on average 80% of New Year’s resolutions have already failed or been abandoned. 1 This inability to adopt new habits or extinguish old ones that no longer serve us isn’t just limited to New Year’s resolutions. It’s a pattern that characterizes much of human experience over time. This begs the questions “Why does happen?” and “What can we do about it?”

Recently, some of my colleagues and I studied James Clear’s popular book “Atomic Habits.” In this book, Clear lays out a simple, common sense framework for making habits stick. His basic approach is to focus on process, not outcomes.

Clear’s process has just four general principles or “laws”:

  1. To create a good habit, make it Obvious; to break a bad habit, make it Invisible;
  2. To create a good habit, make it Attractive; to break a bad habit, make it Unattractive;
  3. To create a good habit, make it Easy; to break a bad habit, make it Difficult;
  4. To create a good habit, make it Satisfying; to break a bad habit, make it Unsatisfying.

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A recent example from my daughter:

“James Clear’s idea of compounding has made a tremendous difference in my life. I have been able to use already established habits to create new habits. For example, I have used my morning habit of drinking water as a trigger to create a new habit of daily gratitude by writing in my gratitude journal. Now when I drink my morning water, I automatically reach for my gratitude journal.”

By analogy, Clear’s approach also suggests something about how we might go about goal-setting and planning for things much bigger than New Year’s resolutions. One of the cornerstones of our work is optimizing multi-generational True Wealth – that which matters most – in every phase of life. Our process focuses on discovering and rediscovering those things that bring happiness, fulfillment, meaning, and joy to those in our circles of care. Inspired by Clear’s model, we might say:

  1. Focus on what will bring Happiness; move away from what may lead to Unhappiness;
  2. Focus on what will bring Fulfillment; move away from what may lead to Unfulfillment;
  3. Focus on what will bring Meaning; move away from what may lead to Meaninglessness;
  4. Focus on what will bring Joy; move away from what may lead to Joylessness.

Just as life’s distractions and temptations work against our New Year’s resolutions and our good habits, in the long run they can misdirect our attention and focus from what we truly value most. Perhaps the most important habit we can develop is the habit of periodically revisiting what matters most in every phase of life.

1How to make your New Year’s resolutions last, Melissa Ma, FSUNews.com, January 5, 2020

Getting Out of Our Comfort Zone Using Experiential Learning

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The Certior Group recently co-sponsored a skiing/learning event under the auspices of the Jackson Institute – a collaboration with Activ8 and Empowered Wealth.

Much of the event focused on the concept of our “comfort zone” and getting out of that comfort zone into the “learning zone”. The basic idea is that we don’t learn when we “play it safe”. We learn “experientially” when we are uncomfortable; when we must deal with and overcome our fears and anxieties.

Experiential learning was most obvious during the second afternoon of the event when the skiing conditions were the most challenging.

A few of the participants reported moments of effortless skiing; perhaps even a “flow state”. Steven Kotler, author and researcher on flow states, suggests that a 4% differential between a challenge and one’s skill level (i.e., 4% out of one’s comfort zone) is the sweet spot for learning and getting into a flow state. 1    The insight here is that achieving and sustaining “flow states” is the key to high performance in skiing, sports, business, and life.

In the end, all participants regardless of skill level said that they enjoyed the skiing. By supporting others to become the best that they can be, we also created numerous shared experiences. Upon reflection, I suspect that for most of the participants the event wasn’t primarily about the skiing but rather the personal connections made and the many lessons learned.

1) Frequently Asked Questions on Flow, www.stevenkotler.com

The CERTIOR Group, LLC

The Certior Group, LLC.

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