True Wealth Archives - The Certior Group

Illuminating What Really Matters

June 30, 2021 by Avi Kantor

Now that the worst immediate consequences of the global pandemic appear to be abating (at least in the U.S.), I’ve been reflecting on what we might take away from the experiences of the last 16 months.

A crisis has a way of illuminating what really matters to us. Clearly, having good health has never been more obvious and important to living a good life. Having contracted COVID-19 myself, I can imagine how devastating the virus can be to those who are immune compromised or weaker because of age or physical condition. Thus, I can understand how fearful, anxious, and insecure the virus has made many people.

Yet, I also value my ability to interact with others without the restrictions we’ve been under for much of the last year. We all sacrificed a part of ourselves that thrives on human connection. Thus, many of us were less able to live life fully. Perhaps, as a result of the constraints we’ve had to live through, we’ll become better at recognizing the fears, anxieties, insecurities, and self-sabotaging patterns that prevent us from living life fully. Maybe we’ll question why we allow these emotions to have such power over us. Perhaps some of us will even vow to overcome them. Perhaps some of us will simply decide to let these negative emotions go and replace them with better, more positive thoughts and patterns of behavior.

Our experiences sheltering in place, social distancing, and mask wearing might motivate us to become more curious about the world around us and the people we come in contact with. We might now have a higher value for our everyday freedoms. I know for myself, I’ve enjoyed getting out and traveling again with family and friends, dining in restaurants, and being able to interact with others without wearing a mask and without many concerns about Covid infections. Like many, I’d like to forget about what we’ve been through and leave it all behind me forever. Yet, it also seems unwise to quickly forget what the pandemic revealed about what matters most to us as human beings.

Here are a few insights that I’ve gleaned from my pandemic experience:

1. Human beings are social creatures who thrive on connection and suffer in isolation. Perhaps we’ve experienced certain advantages of a lifestyle based solely upon telecommunications, interacting with others only via electronic devices. Yes, now more than ever, location matters less when it comes to some business and personal matters and transactions. But without real, authentic human connection, we suffer in the long run.

2. Disruptions create unavoidable transitions in one’s life. Navigating these transitions well is what optimizing True Wealth is all about. One of the key factors in navigating transitions is to see crises, adversity, setbacks, etc. as opportunities. Because so much in our lives has been disrupted, we have choices to make that we might not have had otherwise. For example, we might ask ourselves:

What reliable old patterns of behavior and beliefs will we maintain?
What old habits, patterns, beliefs, will we discard?
What new ideas will we explore and experiment with?

Perhaps we’ve learned that we must adopt a growth mindset; that we can’t go back to the way things used to be or the way things have always been.

3. The military has an axiom that In a crisis, we revert back to the level of our training. That’s why the military places such an emphasis on training and preparation. By analogy and from my own experience, I see practicing Gratitude as a way to sustain the insights gained from the pandemic. If we’re grateful for our health, for the people who matter most to us, for the experiences we’ve had and can have, for our ability to contribute to the wellbeing of others, and for our faith, we can continue to be connected with the experiences and emotions that support our priorities.

“Gratitude is the way the heart remembers––remembers kindnesses, cherished interactions with others, compassionate actions of strangers, surprise gifts, and everyday blessings. By remembering, we honor and acknowledge the many ways in which who and what we are has been shaped by others, both living and dead.” – Robert Emmons Have you had a chance to reflect upon what we might take away from the experiences of the last 16 months? Have you any insights that you’ve gleaned from your pandemic experience? We would love to hear. We would love to learn!

Focusing on Post-Traumatic Growth

April 22, 2021 by Avi Kantor

Our colleague, Ron Nakamoto, recently spent 6 weeks on the beach in Mexico, and as he put it, “recovering from pandemic-driven ‘VUCA’ – volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity” (his words). Since his return, he has remarked that the experience gives him a sense of how we might better shape our post-pandemic futures.

Having had time to rest, recover, and rejuvenate from his pandemic experience, Ron now believes that we are experiencing (or will experience) broad-based, societal post-traumatic stress. He’s not alone in thinking this.[1] New York Times writer Sarah Lyall suggests that grief, depression, and malaise have become commonplace.

“…Margaret Wehrenberg, an expert on anxiety and the author of the book “Pandemic Anxiety: Fear, Stress, and Loss in Traumatic Times ” (said), “A year of uncertainty, of being whipsawed between anxiety and depression, of seeing expert predictions wither away and goal posts shift, has left many people feeling that they are existing in a kind of fog, the world shaded in gray. When people are under a long period of chronic, unpredictable stress, they develop behavioral anhedonia (meaning the loss of the ability to take pleasure in their activities). And so they get lethargic, and they show a lack of interest…”[2]

Not surprisingly, Ron’s focus has been on post-traumatic growth. Again, he’s not alone in his thinking. Several studies have indicated that the pandemic has the potential to trigger:

1. Positive growth in important personal relationships;

2. Greater appreciation for what’s good in one’s life;

3. Spiritual growth, appreciation for nature and the environment; and

4. A newfound ability to embrace new opportunities, possibilities, while accepting uncertainty.[3]

What Ron and all of us at The Certior Group believe we can contribute to this notion of post-traumatic growth are our fundamentals: practicing Gratitude, a True Wealth mindset, and a focus on building community. The brain’s hardwired negativity bias has been fully activated by the pandemic and other recent events. Our research-backed Gratitude practice has demonstrated empirically over time to be an effective antidote to the negative emotions that the events of 2020-2021 have precipitated. Having and maintaining the energy and discipline to remain focused on what truly matters most (i.e., having a True Wealth mindset), while others are faltering is vital…but it can be very challenging. That’s why having the support of a handful or a community of like-minded people can be invaluable.

By remaining true to our fundamentals, we at The Certior Group intend to support all of you in recovering from 2020-2021 and creating a better post-pandemic life.

[1] Post-COVID Stress Disorder: Another Emerging Consequence of the Global Pandemic, Phebe Tucker, MD, Christopher S. Czapla, MD, Psychiatric Times, Vol 38, Issue 1, Volume 38, Issue 01, January 8, 2021

[2] We Have All Hit the Wall, Sarah Lyall, The New York Times, April 3, 2021.

[3] Study Identifies “post-traumatic growth” emerging from Covid-19 lockdowns, Science Daily, February 8, 2021.

The Under-Appreciated Art of Wise Decision Making

November 23, 2020 by Avi Kantor

It was the kind of problem I had solved routinely in the past.

A couple came into my office seeking advice on whether to sell or keep their lake house (I’ve altered a few of the facts in order to honor the privacy of the family involved). This is the sort of logical, mathematical problem that financial advisors are trained to analyze. Once I understood the reason for the couple’s visit, my mind immediately went into solution-mode. What’s the assumed rate of return? What’s inflation going to be? What are the tax consequences? What’s the discounted present value of future returns from alternative investments? And so on, and so on…

But there was something about this situation that was different from the past. Looking back, I believe that difference was a shift in my perspective brought on by the work and mindset we’ve been cultivating at the Certior Group.

As I began the meeting, instead of telling the couple what my analysis was, I asked them to tell me about the house. At first they just described it: how big it is, how old it is, its features. It was the sort of description you might find on Zillow.com or some other real estate website. Then I asked them what the house meant to them. That did it. They started talking about the memories they had of family gatherings; of sharing the house with friends; and letting others use the house when they weren’t there. They talked about the joyous occasions they had had. On and on they went…and at the end, they looked at each other and said almost simultaneously, “We can’t sell the house. It means too much to us, to everyone.”

Researchers who study intelligence call this kind of thinking crystallized intelligence; the ability to size up what’s relevant in the present, scan the past for clues and possible parallels, and imagine future scenarios playing out. This skill contrasts with what the same researchers call fluid intelligence – what we commonly view as the traits of “smart” people – the ability to think quickly, logically, and remember large amounts of information and data. Crystallized intelligence is the mark of wisdom. It was wisdom, not logic, that swayed this couple’s decision. And it’s wisdom that we can continue to cultivate – especially during these times.

Given the ongoing pandemic, the aftermath of our recent elections continuing to dominate the media and social media and the volatile economy – we will be called upon to make important decisions under ambiguous, uncertain conditions. And with the upcoming holidays, these are stressful times for us all. Stress, anxiety, and perhaps fear or anger, are understandable reactions to the current circumstances. But these reactions make decision making that much more difficult. In my experience and as I’ve written before in this blog, we have the opportunity to face these circumstances by beginning in Gratitude. Gratitude for the everyday goodness that’s still in our lives. Gratitude, and cultivating Wisdom can serve us well in the days ahead.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Man Plans and God Laughs: Insights from Our Family Road Trip

August 4, 2020 by Avi Kantor

Thanks to COVID-19, I believe that my family will look back and fondly remember our recent vacation as both the “VUCA” and the “True Wealth” road trip. I’ll explain why in this post.

For years now, our family has accepted the idea that we live in a VUCA (volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous) world. I’ve written before about the term; it was coined by the Army War College to describe the conditions that would exist with the collapse of the Soviet Union and has subsequently caught on with academics and the business community.

According to the American Automobile Association, the overall number of summer road trips will decline this year because of the increase in new cases of the coronavirus, activity restrictions in certain parts of the country, and fears about asymptomatic spread of the virus. Nevertheless, we decided that, despite some concerns about COVID-19, we could take appropriate precautions and travel safely. It turned out that the virus was only one of the VUCA factors we would encounter on the trip.

Our original plan was to spend a month on the road, first touring several National Parks we had never visited before – Bryce Canyon and Zion in Utah and the Grand Canyon in Northern Arizona. From there, we planned on stopping in Las Vegas before driving eastward through New Mexico, on to Austin, TX, and then to New Orleans where I attended college at Tulane. From there, we planned to head back to Jackson via Dallas, New Mexico and Colorado.

Upon returning home, my son reminded me of an old Yiddish proverb, “Man plans, and God Laughs” (Der mentsh trakht un Got lakht). Our trip was an example of this truth.

The national parks were stunning but it was very hot hiking during the day. As my daughter Jordyn would later remark, the weather taught us “tolerance”. That, being cooped-up as a family in small hotel rooms every night, and dealing with the reality of COVID-19 in every situation and encounter with strangers became a master class in patience, understanding, and self-regulation under stress for not only her but for all of us.

Then there was a fire on the North Rim of the Grand Canyon, which forced us unexpectedly to drive all the way around to the South Rim in order to experience the Grand Canyon’s stunning scale and beauty.

As the trip unfolded, the spread of COVID-19 began shutting down some of our planned destinations. After stops in St. George, UT, Las Vegas, and Sedona, AZ, it became clearer that our plans could be even further disrupted if we attempted to travel on to emerging “hot spots” like Houston and other parts of Texas. Reluctantly, we decided as a family to cut our trip short and make the long drive back to Jackson, WY.

Despite having to alter our plans, there were many memorable moments and big “ah ha’s”. Unanimously, we remember hiking The Narrows in Zion National Park as a highlight of the trip. The Narrows is the narrowest part of Zion Canyon where the Virgin River has carved a gorge that at times is only a few feet wide in a one thousand foot tall ancient rock canyon. It’s not a cliché to say that it’s “awesome”.

My “ah ha” is that humans are relative newcomers on this planet, scurrying around with our seemingly important plans and aspirations. Meanwhile, nature evolves and changes at its own pace. For millions of years, the Virgin River has flowed down from the mountains, slowly, inexorably shaping Zion Canyon. There’s nothing like the gratitude that awe inspires. And it was certainly awe and gratitude that we experienced in The Narrows. Sensing those millions of years of rocks, river, and weather that had led up to our few moments of shared True Wealth, it was a part of what we’ll long remember about the Summer of 2020.

Crisis Creates an Opportunity to Focus on What Matters Most

March 20, 2020 by Avi Kantor

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” -Viktor Frankl, Holocaust Survivor

A global pandemic. Panic buying of supplies. Stocks declining steeply. Schools and businesses closing. Cities under lockdown.

All of our lives have been disrupted.

Under these conditions, psychologists and neuroscientists understand and expect that many people will experience fear, anxiety, and an inability to focus and think clearly. They call this the “amygdala hijack”, singling out the emotional part of the brain – the amygdala – that triggers our primitive “fight or flight” response to perceived danger. With the whole world triggered by unprecedented events – events that could potentially spiral even further into uncharted territory – how might we keep from being amygdala hijacked? How might we remain calm, centered, and focused?

Of course, there are intoxicants of all forms and escapism that can temporarily distract our minds from current events. But keep us calm, centered, and focused? Probably not. Many have turned to mindfulness meditation, yoga, exercise, and other forms of relaxation. I’m an advocate of many of these disciplines. Our work, though, suggests that there’s another option.

"I am grateful for" written in a notebook with a pen.

Over the years, we’ve been very intentional about practicing Gratitude. Our experience has been that Gratitude has helped us, our family members, our colleagues, and clients appreciate the many blessings we all have and find the good in even the most challenging situations. This practice has never been more relevant and necessary for our collective wellbeing.

Through the lens of Gratitude, we have an opportunity to refocus our minds on what’s essential for our wellbeing; that which brings us happiness, fulfillment, meaning, and joy. We call this True Wealth. But regardless of what one calls it, there are enduring parts of our lives that persist despite the coronavirus, the stock market, and the disruption that’s affected us all. For most of us, this includes our family, our continued good health (if we’re currently blessed with good health), our Faith, the many diverse experiences we’ve had and continue to have, and the joy of contributing to the wellbeing of others.

Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl said, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Now is our time to choose…to choose Gratitude and True Wealth…and to help others do the same.

Responsive Menu