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Too Busy to Do What Matters Most

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Marshall Goldsmith, a highly sought-after executive coach, has written books and articles around the idea that “what got you here, won’t get you there”. In other words, the methods, habits, ideas, etc. that in many instances have led to business and personal success, aren’t necessarily the path to greater success and especially greater happiness, fulfillment, and meaning in life. One of the major obstacles to further progress for many of the people we meet at the Certior Group is our busy lives.

It’s when we’re too busy that we can sometimes lose sight of what matters most. We can spend our time being busy, “putting out fires”, or falling back into habitual patterns of behavior. This is where I’ve found the Empowered Wealth Mindset to be most beneficial. And it begins with Gratitude.

We teach that Gratitude is the optimal response to life’s negative events, to those events and circumstances that aren’t adding to our happiness, fulfillment, or greater meaning. Seth Godin shares a story that highlights how Gratitude can transform the frustrations and anxiety of daily life into a better way of being:

I live fourteen miles from ground zero (the site of the 9-11 disaster in New York City), and there used be a cafe about five miles from here, near the train station. For a long time, there was a handwritten letter on the bulletin board in the café. It said “I was here a few weeks ago and I ordered a decaf coffee with bagel and butter. The idiot behind the counter gave me regular coffee, and put cream cheese on my bagel. As a result, I got all frustrated, and as a result he had to make it again, and as a result I was kicking and screaming, and as a result I missed my train, and because I missed my train, I got to the World Trade Center thirty minutes after the plane crashed into it and I am alive today. Thank you to the person who messed up my coffee order.”

More from Seth Godin on Gratitude

I’ve written previously about the Empowered Wealth tool, the Levels of Gratitude and how it can combat “entitlement”. Let me also reiterate what I’ve said before: we can give our children and others a gift that’s worth more than most of the “things” they think they may want in the moment. We can give them the gift of gratitude.

Please join us for one of our study group meetings or Empowered Wealth workshops where we teach the Levels of Gratitude.

Avi Kantor

Gratitude and “Affluenza”

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While driving drunk in June of 2013, a Texas teenager Ethan Couch lost control of his pickup truck at high speed, killing four bystanders and severely injuring several passengers in his vehicle. Couch is the son of a very successful – many would say “wealthy” – businessman.

“A psychologist testified that 16-year-old Ethan Couch, charged in the deaths of four pedestrians while driving drunk, suffered from the condition in which children — generally from richer families — have a sense of entitlement, are irresponsible, and make excuses for poor behavior because parents have not set proper boundaries.” – USA Today, December 14, 2013.

The tragic case of Ethan Couch drew international headlines and scorn from nearly all circles because of the leniency of the ultimate sentence (10 years of probation) and the lack of an apology from the defendant. At the heart of that scorn was the perception that entitlement is a deep, chronic character flaw of wealthy children and young adults. The common term for this condition is “affluenza”, a term that suggests that the pattern of behavior is like an incurable disease specific to children of wealth.

More on Ethan Couch and Affluenza

My experience, however, and the experience of many of my colleagues is that entitlement can be counteracted with gratitude and that, over time, gratitude can rewire a young person’s brain and transform entitled children and young adults into grateful ones.

Empowered Wealth provides us with a wonderful tool, the Levels of Gratitude. A way we might use this tool to combat “entitlement” would be to begin with respect for ourselves and for others. Can we demonstrate to our children that we respect our health and well-being, our family and others, and our faith enough to say “no” to destructive behaviors? Can we stay true to this gratitude principle if and when our children falter or rebel? Can we set limits and hold our children accountable when they cross the line into entitlement and disregard for others?

We can give our children and others a gift that’s worth more than most of the “things” they think they may want in the moment. We can give them the gift of gratitude.

Please join us for one of our study group meetings or Empowered Wealth workshops where we teach the Levels of Gratitude.
Avi Kantor

A Remarkable Podcast: An Interview with Gail Miller

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The most valuable thing I ever could do would be to continue the legacy that we had begun.

– Gail Miller (speaking about her thought process after the death of her husband Larry Miller)

Gail Miller is the matriarch of the family that owns the NBA basketball team the Utah Jazz as well as many other businesses. She was recently interviewed on the Jonah Keri Podcast.

Gail Miller Interview

In the interview, of the many things Gail Miller mentions that are consistent with the philosophy and the services that The Certior Group delivers, one idea stands out. Whether it’s developing a movie theater complex in Sandy, UT or keeping the Utah Jazz in Salt Lake City or engaging in their numerous philanthropic initiatives, the members of the Miller family consistently express their values through generosity and active contributions of their time, energy, attention, and resources. Gail Miller seems very aware of an idea that we advocate; that is, “mindsets matter”. In sharing a parable about the gift of a valuable stone as well as the real-life stories of her family’s contributions to the state of Utah and their Salt Lake City community, she conveys the notion that one doesn’t leave a legacy; we live our legacies through the gratitude and generosity that permeates our lives.

Empowered Wealth + You

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Empowered Wealth + You (Ron Nakamoto)

On April 29th, we conducted our first Empowered Wealth + You workshop at our home in Jackson. Ron Nakamoto, CEO of Empowered Wealth, introduced the basic concepts that comprise the Empowered Wealth Mindset: Gratitude, True Wealth, and Leadership. Ron led the group in a series of exercises designed to explore these concepts in some depth. Avi Kantor, Founder of The Certior Group, gave an overview of how The Certior Group incorporates Empowered Wealth in their work.

Empowered Wealth + You (Avi Kantor)

The Certior Group will continue to conduct social events as well as Introductions to Empowered Wealth and The Certior Group in addition to Empowered Wealth + You half day events.

V.U.C.A

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The military term “V.U.C.A.” – which stands for “Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, and Ambiguous” – was originallay created to describe the conditions that would exist with the collapse of the soviet Union. Eric J. McNulty illustrates in his blog post how the term has been adopted by advisors and consultants to describe the conditions that business and family leaders face today.

Leading in an Increasingly VUCA World

What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.

– Pericles

Today, global economic, political, demographic, and technological changes conspire to create potential VUCA conditions in our lives. As the author Eric J. McNulty states, “Constant change can set people on edge because we humans crave certainty.” We agree. In fact, in our work with clients we expand upon our understanding of VUCA by talking about the additional human desires for stability, simplicity, and clarity (i.e., the opposites of volatile, complex, and ambiguous).

To some extent, we also agree with McNulty that we can “create an island of certainty amid VUCA turbulence” by focusing on rock-solid values, clear decision-making criteria, and learning from mistakes. But we think there’s more to it. It’s a matter of mindset.

For us at Certior, having an optimal mindset is critical to the work we do and the approach we take with clients. Because of our training and experiences, we start with Gratitude as fundamental to the mindset we advocate. Research supports the notion that Gratitude can rewire our brains and help us to be at our best despite negative external circumstances. In addition to Gratitude, what our clients value most, especially what they value more than money – which we call “True Wealth” – informs much of the work we do. In nearly all cases, this involves a focus on family, health, and spiritual growth. Having a growth, lifelong learning mindset, as well as a generous spirit are all part of this optimal mindset for a VUCA world.

For our clients, we perform many financial, trust, and estate planning services. These are “what” we do and “how” we do it. But when we ask ourselves why we do what we do, it comes down to helping families protect, grow, and sustain their True Wealth. We want to help you thrive despite the VUCA world we live in.

Avi Kantor

The CERTIOR Group, LLC

The Certior Group, LLC.

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